


just one more tiny note

by Mellow_Yellow



Series: Notes [3]
Category: Pod Save America (RPF)
Genre: Kid Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-06
Updated: 2018-05-06
Packaged: 2019-05-03 01:09:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14557560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mellow_Yellow/pseuds/Mellow_Yellow
Summary: “I’m fucking pregnant,” Lovett said in a breathless rush.“Holy shit,” Tommy breathed out, which was probably not the ideal reaction, as Lovett burst into full-on tears.





	just one more tiny note

**Author's Note:**

> just a tiny glimpse into [this](https://ohjafeeljadefinitelyfeel.tumblr.com/tagged/podsa/page/12) longer coda I may or may not ever really write

*

It had been a super normal day for Tommy. Dare he say, even a super _good_ day, so far.

He went to boot camp with Favs in the morning, stopped by the office, recorded some ads, picked up Ben from daycare. Traffic was light as they drove home and Tommy listened to Ben tell a long, meandering story about a few bugs he’d found in the corner of the playground, which was unusual because Ben was an avowed bug hater, but he also kept mentioning a new kid in his class named Ariel who apparently loved bugs, so maybe there was another element going on there.

They swung by the grocery store to get some stuff for dinner, and Ben only genially wandered off one and a half times to neighboring aisles, giving Tommy only one and a half mild heart attacks each time. 

By the time they got home, groceries in one arm, Ben slung onto Tommy’s hip in the other, Tommy was in a good mood. He’d texted Lovett earlier but he hadn’t responded. Tommy reasoned he was busy with some show prep. 

As they walked inside, the house was silent, and there was no sign of Lovett or his many disorganized notes sprawled across the kitchen table.

“Lovett?” Tommy called out.

From deeper in the house, Tommy heard Pundit bark, once. There were no accompanying clicks of her dog nails coming to greet them. 

“Daddy,” Ben said. “Lemme down.”

Distracted, Tommy set the groceries on the counter, Ben still on his hip. 

“Jon, are you home?” 

Ben put a hand Tommy’s chin and pulled until Tommy turned to look down at his solemn little face. “Daddy,” he said sternly, “down, please.”

“Okay, okay.” He set Ben down, who immediately trotted off for his room, and more importantly, the dinosaur figurines he’d been obsessed with for the last three weeks.

“Dinner in a few, okay buddy?” 

“Okay,” Ben mumbled, “no veganables please.” 

“I’ll think about it,” Tommy called after him, setting off down the hallway himself.

He should put the food away in the fridge, but Lovett’s car was in the driveway, why wasn’t he home? He usually made a point of being there when Ben got home, even if it was just a half-day at daycare like today.

“Lovett?” 

Tommy stepped into their bedroom and spotted Pundit, sitting alert outside the closed bathroom door. She looked at him as he came over, whining, and pawed at it.

“Lovett, are you in there?” A thread of fear began curling its way up Tommy’s chest. He tried the door handle; it was unlocked.

When he pushed it open and stepped in the bathroom, Pundit shoving past his knees to come in too, Lovett was sitting on the edge of the bathtub, hunched over with his arms around his middle, staring blankly at the opposite wall. He glanced up at Tommy. 

“Hey,” he whispered hoarsely. 

Tommy went to him immediately, kneeling down on the hard tile, barely feeling the twinge in his knee and put a hand on Lovett’s shoulder. “Baby, what is it?”

Lovett tried to smile and choked out a harsh sob.

Alarmed, Tommy crowded in closer. “What happened?” He rubbed gently at his back. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?” 

Lovett didn’t answer, just sniffled miserably, pressing his face into Tommy’s chest. 

“Jon, you’re scaring me.” Tommy cupped the back of his head, carding lightly through his hair. “Talk to me, tell me what’s wrong.” 

Lovett mumbled something.

“What?” Slowly, Tommy eased Lovett’s head back so he could see his face. “What’d you say?”

“I’m fucking pregnant,” Lovett said in a breathless rush.

“Holy shit,” Tommy breathed out, which was probably not the ideal reaction, as Lovett burst into full-on tears. “Whoa, okay. Okay, sorry. Hey, come here.”

It wasn’t that Lovett never cried, but usually it was when he was mad or watching commercials for the Olympics. Not whatever this was, panicked and scared and pressing closer into Tommy like he wanted to disappear.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” he murmured nonsensically, wrapping Lovett up closer in his arms, his own head spinning. “You’re okay, shhh, sh.” He eased them back until he was sitting against the cabinet, Lovett down off the edge of the bathtub and huddled between Tommy’s bent knees, tucked against his chest.

Gradually, Lovett quieted, Pundit curled up at their feet, until he was just sniffing hard every few seconds, and sighed. 

“Ben?” he croaked. 

“Dinosaurs,” Tommy confirmed. He kissed the side of Lovett’s head. “So. Pregnant.” 

“I took a test,” Lovett supplied. “I’ve been feeling tired, and just kind of—weird. And I figured there was no way, because we’ve been using stupid condoms all the fucking time, and I just wanted to like, rule it out.”

Tommy cast his own memory back. Then— “Fuck. That night after Tim’s thing. When Favs and Emily were watching the baby.”

Lovett leaned his head back. “What?”

“I couldn’t find one because we were out and you forgot to get more at the store—”

“—I told you, they didn’t have the right brand! It’s not my fault the place wasn’t well-stocked!”

“—and I said okay, I’ll just blow you, but you said to just fucking stick it in you already—ow!”

Lovett pinched him one last time, presumably for emphasis, and tilted his head back to scowl more effectively up at Tommy. “Don’t blame the victim.” 

“I’m not,” Tommy insisted, “I’m not blaming you! It’s just...I take it you don’t...want to be pregnant again, then?”

He wasn’t even sure how he felt, and it wasn’t like they’d planned this—but he himself didn’t feel like crying his eyes out, and if that was Lovett’s first reaction...

“I don’t know,” Lovett said wetly. “I don’t know why I’m even crying right now. Hormones, maybe. That’s why I’ve been so moody lately.” 

“Yes,” Tommy said slowly, “ _lately_. I was wondering.”

Lovett smacked him weakly on the chest. “Shut up.”

Cautiously, Tommy let his hand drift down until it was below Lovett’s sternum, to see if he would let him get away with it.

“There’s nothing to feel yet,” Lovett groaned, but moved his hands so Tommy could put a hand on his belly, soft and not noticeably round yet, but it still felt different. 

After a long thoughtful moment, Lovett sighed. “Do you want another baby?” 

“Yes,” Tommy said immediately, surprised at his kneejerk honesty. But he did. He wanted a hundred kids with Lovett. Or maybe just two or three, or a similarly normal number. He swallowed, setting Lovett away a little bit so they could more easily look at each other in the face. “Do you?”

Lovett stared at his hands. 

“Is this about work? Because we can shift some things around, you wouldn't even have to adjust your touring schedule for a few months probably, it would be fine." He waited, but Lovett just kept tugging at the hem of Tommy's shirt. "Lovett?”

Lovett rolled his eyes, mostly at himself, and finally said, “We were supposed to get married first!” 

Tommy couldn’t help but make some kind of face at that. “Um. We are?” 

“Yes! That was the whole point of getting engaged, aside from like the whole being in love with you part and wanting to be together and whatever," Lovett waved a hand in the air at what Tommy himself considered not actually inconsequential details, but he held his tongue, waiting, "to actually do things according to a _plan_ and not just fall into another disaster baby scenario like last time.”

“Things are extremely different than they were last time,” Tommy felt compelled to point out, but Lovett was already working himself up into a lather.

“I can’t get married when I’m fucking pregnant, we’re not—some restrictive religious sect, we don’t—I can’t get up there like some sister-wife, fuck—”

“Okay, I think we’re spinning out a little here,” Tommy said carefully, holding a hand up as Lovett glared at him.

“Oh, do you, Vietor? Is that what you think?”

“Hey, same team.” Cautiously, he rubbed Lovett’s back between his shoulder blades and smiled as Lovett grudgingly leaned into the contact. 

“I wanted to marry you,” Lovett said quietly.

“We can still get married. Why can’t we still get married?”

“I’m not going to stand in front of your mother in some kind of shotgun wedding, Tommy, jesus _god_.” He shuddered.

Externally, Tommy was doing his best to keep his cool. Internally, he heard a fire alarm start to whoop in the back corner of his brain. The thing was, he had been _extremely_ looking forward to getting married to Lovett, too. Like, an embarrassing amount, that only another uptight rule-follower like Favs seemed to understand on any real level. 

Tommy had finally talked Lovett into setting time aside to go look at venues the weekend after next, and every concrete step they took felt like another victory to Tommy, one more way Lovett was tied inextricably into Tommy’s life, a baby and a mortgage and a shared media empire. All that was left was the prestige—the actual legal paperwork tying them together until literal death.

The idea of stepping back from it all was making Tommy feel sweaty.

He could deal with that later, though. For now, Lovett was blinking a lot, staring up at Tommy, tremulous and flushed, and Tommy had a hard time focusing on anything but making him look less strained around the eyes.

“What do you want, Lovett?” He squared his shoulders. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want. It’s your call.”

Lovett cleared his throat. “You really want another baby?” He paused. “With me?”

That was an easy one, at least. Tommy cupped a hand at Lovett’s jaw. “I really do. Ben is the best, and I love doing this with you and—yeah. I really, really do.” God, it didn’t even fucking cover it, how he felt about the life they had together, the fact that Lovett was pregnant, with another _baby_ , with _Tommy's baby_ —jesus, but he didn’t know how else to explain it. 

Gently, he leaned forward to press a kiss to Lovett’s mouth. Lovett reached up to hold onto his face, holding him there when Tommy would have pulled away, deepening the kiss until he was more or less in Tommy’s lap, making little noises, licking into Tommy’s mouth.

“Whoa.” Tommy’s voice was husky as they pulled apart to breathe.

“You goddamn dreamboat,” Lovett said, pressing their foreheads together. “You’re too much.”

“Lovett.” Tommy kissed him on the cheek, the nose, one more time on the mouth. “What do you want?”

“I want,” Lovett said slowly, “to have another baby with you, without being required to physically go through another pregnancy again.” He exhaled loudly. Tommy also breathed out in relief but tried to make it less obvious. “But since that’s not possible, I guess we can do it this way, too.”

“Okay.” Tommy gathered him up in his arms again. Everything felt like it was vibrating, things finally settling in. Shit, another baby. Two kids. “Okay.”

“Are _you_ okay?” Lovett pressed a hand to Tommy’s chest. “Your heart’s going like a million miles an hour.”

“Yeah, I just—shit. It was such a normal day. And now. Another kid. Holy shit.” 

“Holy shit,” Lovett agreed.

Lovett stirred first, getting to his knees. When Tommy realized what he was doing, he leaped to his feet and took Lovett by the elbows, easing him to standing. 

“Alright, tone it down,” Lovett groused. “I’m not on injured reserve just yet.”

“Nice,” Tommy noted, holding out a hand for a high-five for the sports reference. 

Lovett was leaning heavily into Tommy’s side. “Let’s go get the baby before he realizes there’s actually nothing stopping him from taking his dinosaurs and walking out of the house while he’s unsupervised.”

“I don’t think he feels the same call of the wild like you did when you were a kid.”

Predictably, Ben was still safely in his room, sitting quietly and playing with his dinosaur toys. Tommy’s chest ached at the sight of him. Soon there was going to be two of him. It was wild to contemplate.

Lovett went eagerly to Ben’s side. “Hey, sweetheart!” He sat down next to him, eyeing his toys. “What are the dinos up to today?”

“This one’s getting married to that one,” Ben said quietly, pointing out the brontosaurus and the stegosaurus, if Tommy’s dinosaur knowledge served, which it fucking better since they went to the goddamn children’s exhibit four times last month. 

He watched Lovett thoughtfully pet Ben’s hair and listen as Ben slowly mumbled out a tale about the brontosaurus and the stegosaurus being brothers who were also in love.

“That sounds complex,” Lovett observed.

“It is,” Ben agreed solemnly, even though Tommy was ninety percent sure he had no idea what the word ‘complex’ meant.

“Hey, you shouldn’t be crouching on the floor,” Tommy said after a while. He put a hand under Lovett’s elbow to help him up, who allowed it while complaining.

“God, it’s way too early for you to get this overbearing.”

“It’s never too early for that.”

On his feet, Lovett looked down at Ben. “Hey buddy, you want to come cuddle with me while your dad makes dinner?”

Ben tilted his head, considering. “Okay.” He set the brontosaurus carefully aside and tucked the stegosaurus under his arm and went to Lovett, who hauled him up onto his hip. He smacked a kiss on his cheek, then the side of his head, then a few loud ones on Ben’s neck that made him giggle and squirm. 

“I missed you today, little man,” Lovett murmured. He kissed Ben one more time on the head and went to the kitchen, rocking Ben slowly in his arms on the way. “Missed you so much.” 

“Yeah,” Ben said with a sigh, snuggling against Lovett’s chest.

“Holy shit,” Tommy whispered, faint. His heart was pounding. He felt dizzy with the horribly tender feeling in his chest. God, he wasn’t going to survive this.

“No veganables,” Ben mumbled into Lovett’s collar, eyes drifting closed as they settled onto the couch. 

“I’ll see what I can do, I have an in with the chef.” Lovett looked over his shoulder at Tommy, who was still leaning in the doorway, feeling pretty fucking overcome. “We have a strong vote for no veggies tonight, just FYI.” 

Nodding absently, Tommy went to the couch and bent over to press his own kiss to Ben’s messy curly head. Then he turned to Lovett.  
  
“I can’t believe,” he tried to say, then trailed off, just marveling as he stared at Lovett. To his surprise, Lovett’s eyes looked shiny again. 

“I know,” Lovett said hoarsely. “God. I know.” He darted forward to kiss Tommy, with an unsettling amount of tongue considering their son was a literal foot away, even if he was snoozing. Lovett leaned back, then grabbed the front of Tommy’s shirt to yank him in for one last kiss before finally pushing him away with a flourish, firmly enough that Tommy stumbled back, laughing.

“Hey, earn your keep. Provide for our family. Go make dinner.”

Tommy nodded, still laughing. His own eyes felt wet. Shit.

“Whatever you want,” he said, gazing for one last moment at his family before he turned for the kitchen.

*

**Author's Note:**

> [tumrbluururrr](ohjafeeljadefinitelyfeel.tumblr.com)


End file.
